You Got Off Lucky
An elderly Jewish man is bumped by a car while crossing the street. He is seemingly unhurt, but his wife persuades him to go to the doctor, just in case. He returns home, and his wife says...
Cost of Anesthesia
Margie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to see a $900 fee for the anesthesiologist. She called his office to demand an explanation. "Is this some kind of mistake...
When Plans Go Wrong...
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything went quite well...
First Rectal Exam
I went into my proctologist`s office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room And told me to get undressed and have a seat Until the doctor could see me. She said that...
A Routine Check-up
A man visits a doctor for routine check-up. During check-up he asks the doctor, "Do you think I`ll live a long and healthy life then?"
Doctor replies, "I doubt it somehow...
Irresistible Urge to Steal
"Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit."
"Does that mean I`m cured?" he asked.
"For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can safely say that your kleptomania...
Handling a Difficult Patient
A dentist had an old lady patient who was very hard to handle. As soon as she sat in the chair, she panicked and would clamp her mouth shut so firmly that he couldn`t get it open to work on her teeth...
Who Listens?
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man...
Maid's Advice
A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday, the leg was very swollen and he was having difficulty walking, so he called his physician at his home. The doctor told him...
Health Checkup
Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. "Sam, you`re in excellent shape for an 80 year old man...