Clean Jokes

Little Johnny blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he`s liable to break something, but the boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off....

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. One of the students said to his friend, "I`m sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that...

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately....

The other day I visited my local superstore. When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the pharmacist`s counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both...

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I`ve got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first...

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a racing car when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him and said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and...

A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches and says, "Can I help you?"
The man replies, "No thanks."
He continues to stand on the clouds. "Are you sure I can`t...

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would...

Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly...

A dentist had an old lady patient who was very hard to handle. As soon as she sat in the chair, she panicked and would clamp her mouth shut so firmly that he couldn`t get it open...