Clean Jokes

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through quite a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, the plane is bucking back and forth, pitching up and down and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck...

A student comes to a young professor`s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do `Anything` to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her...

When Canadian road workers found about 200 dead crows on the highway between Toronto and Hamilton, there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. So the government had a bird pathologist examine...

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.
If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or...

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream `racism` these days.
In London, a customer asked, "Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?"
The shopkeeper says "Are you a "Punjabi?"
The guy (clearly offended) says...

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty`s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address...

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can`t do that, officer...

A Syrian arrives in Toronto as a new immigrant to Canada. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Canadian, for letting me come into this country...

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren`t you successful with the Arabs ?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East...

A new report shows that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising health benefits. Being five to ten pounds overweight could protect people from ailments...