Clean Jokes

A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch...

A man gets stopped by a game warden with his basket full of fish.
Warden: Do you have a permit for all these fish?
Man: No sir. These are all my pet fish...

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem...

The son of a financier bursts into his father`s office and says, "Dad, lend me $5,000."
"What for?" his father asks.
"I`ve got a sure tip on the market...

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back...

An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: `George and the Dragon.` He knocked. The Innkeeper`s wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare...

The small town sheriff pulled over a Porsche doing 75 miles per hour in a 35 zone. Its wealthy yuppie driver was steaming.
When he finally appeared before the local magistrate, he exploded...

A man brings some very fine material to a tailor and asks him to make a pair of pants. When he comes back a week later, the pants are not ready. Two weeks later, they still are not ready. inally after 6 weeks...

They had been married for sixty years. They were far from rich, but in very good health, due largely to her insistence that they both eat healthy foods and exercise every day. But their good health...

While waiting at the bus stop, a man with a stutter asked another, "E-e-excuse m-me, w-w-what t-time is it?"
The other man didn`t reply. Again, the man asked...