Clean Jokes

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th- and 6th-grade ages in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers...

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.
Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them, "It is illegal to put five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four...

Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I`d like to see...

Reporter: Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?
USA: Because we suspected that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Reporter: Why did you attack Syria...

A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast. On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, "Good morning sisters" and they reply in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed...

An elderly man was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he`d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. He opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that...

There was a businessman, and he was not feeling well, so he went to see the doctor about it. The doctor says to him, "Well, it must be your diet, what sort of greens do you eat...

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand...

The fishing season hasn`t opened and a fisherman who doesn`t have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks, "Any luck?"
"Any luck? This is a wonderful...

A lady goes into Walmart to buy a rod and reel for her husband. She doesn`t know which one to get, so walks over to the register. A Walmart associate is standing there with sunglasses on. She says, "Excuse me sir...