Clean Jokes

Santa dials a number. A Girl answered.
Santa: Hello... Kaun?
Girl: Main Seeta...
Sardar: O Teri!!! Yeh Toh Ayodhya Lag Gaya...

2 Dost Daaru Pee Ke Apni Gaadi Se Gahr Jaa Rahe The. Tabhi Ek Dost Chillaya, "Deewar... Abbe Samne Dekh Deewar Hai.... Deewar... Dewaar Dekh Kamine......"
Aur Itne Mein... Dhadaaaaam....

The amount of Maggi Noodles we have eaten, if it really contained that much lead, the men would be Natraj HB pencils by now and and the ladies would have turned to Apsaras...

Kitni Ajeeb Duniya Hai Ye, Yahan Auratein Dusri Auraton Ki Buraiyaan Karti Nahin Thakti, Jabki Aadmi Dusri Auraton Ki Tareef Karte Nahin Thakte. Aadmi Sach Mein Mahaan Hai.
Humne 5 Aadmiyon Ko Beer...

Santa Pehli Baar Train Mein Safar Kar Raha Tha. Uski Nazar Ek Signboard Pe Padti Hai Jis Pe Warning Likhi Thi:
Bina Ticket Safar Karne Wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!
Santa: Waah ji Waah... Aur Humne Ticket Li Toh Hum...

Scene: Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs. Pakistan. Chetan is bowling and Javed is batting. Pakistan needs 24 runs in 4 balls.
Ajit: Rabert, Jao Aur Chetan Se Kaho Ki Ek Khatarnak Bouncer

Ek Aadmi Samundar Mein Nahate Huye Doobne Laga Toh Usne Dua Ki: Hey Bhagvan ! Agar Mein Bach Gaya Toh Biryani Ki Deg Garibo Ko Khilaunga. Tabhi Ek Badi Si Lehar Aati Hai Aur Usko Utha Ke Sahil Pe...

Santa Ke Ghar Navjot Singh Siddhu Ki Tasvir Lagi Hui Thi. Banta: Yaar, Tujhe Toh Cricket Mein Bilkul Bhi Interest Nahin Hai, Phir Tune Siddhu Ji Ki Photo Kyun Laga Rahi Hai???
Santa: Siddhu?? Kaun Siddhu...

Ek Baar Santa USA Ghumne Gaya. Wahan Ek Din Jab Santa Shopping Kar Raha Tha Tabhi 1 Building Mein Aag Lag Gayi. Santa Fire Brigade Waalon Se Bola: Tum Logon Ko Neeche Phenko, Main Sabko....

Husband: Tumne Pada... Akhbaar Mein Likha Hai Taaje Survey Se Pata Chala Hai Ki 25 Percent Auratein Maansik Bimari Ke Liye Medicines Leti Hain?
Wife: Toh Ismein Khaas Kya Hai?
Husband: Yeh Toh Bada Hi....