Clean Jokes

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him 'What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?'
The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, 'A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.'
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment...

A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.
'Well,' said the drunk, 'it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.'
'Let me have it,' said the lawyer and...

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to Heaven. St. Peter`s there, and when they get to the gate, St. Peter informs them that there will be a test to get into Heaven: they each have to answer one question.
To the teacher, he says, 'What was the name of the ship that...

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars that were all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got caught and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation and...

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise...

A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife.
She rushed in and said, 'What is it, honey?'
He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and...

A self-centered, unbelieving man... ok a lawyer... died and was delivered into the devil`s hands. 'You will be spending eternity here, but I`ll let you pick your own room from three I`ll show you,' the devil said. In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a...

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over...

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial --it went like this...