Things law enforcement officials say:
The handcuffs are tight because they`re new. They`ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.
Take your hands off the car, and I`ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
Remember, when you gotta cuff `em ..nobody is your...
The rat statue!!
A tourist wandered into a dimly-lit old San Fransisco antiques shop, down in china town. Perusing the shelves, he discovered an amazingly life-sized and life-like bronze sculpture of a rat. He had to have it and asked the shopkeeper...
Unusual Defense !!
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: 'My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense...
Do you serve lawyers?
A man walked into a bar with his alligator.
He asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here?'
'Sure do,' replied the...
Lawyers` luck?
A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
'For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three...
Just saves time!
Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work.
“I don’t understand,” Cindy complained. “When people find out I’m a lawyer, they take an...
Get in line!!
A long New Orleans style funeral procession passes by, but instead of a jazz band, it’s lead by a man walking a lion. Behind the coffin walk at least 200 people. A bystander asks the man...
Enjoy the gas!
Seattle : Puffing on a cigarette is a bit like inhaling from the back end of a cow, or being poisoned like a rat, according to a new ad campaign sponsored by Washington state health...
That`s Strange !!
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, 'Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.' The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be...
Donation!
A local Charity realized that it had never received a donation from the town`s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
'Our research shows that...