Clean Jokes

A tourist wandered into a dimly-lit old San Fransisco antiques shop, down in china town. Perusing the shelves, he discovered an amazingly life-sized and life-like bronze sculpture of a rat. He had to have it and asked the shopkeeper...

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: 'My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense...

A man walked into a bar with his alligator.
He asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here?'
'Sure do,' replied the...

A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
'For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three...

Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work.
“I don’t understand,” Cindy complained. “When people find out I’m a lawyer, they take an...

A long New Orleans style funeral procession passes by, but instead of a jazz band, it’s lead by a man walking a lion. Behind the coffin walk at least 200 people. A bystander asks the man...

Seattle : Puffing on a cigarette is a bit like inhaling from the back end of a cow, or being poisoned like a rat, according to a new ad campaign sponsored by Washington state health...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, 'Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.' The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be...

A local Charity realized that it had never received a donation from the town`s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
'Our research shows that...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency...