Clean Jokes



Gold Watch

A judge was instructing the jury that because a witness changed his statement after giving it to the police, he should not necessarily be regarded as untruthful...

Broken Arm

Two doctors were discussing a case in a mental ward. The first doctor asked what had triggered such a profound depressive psychosis in the patient.
The second one answered...

False Analogy

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. A few minutes later, he says to no one in particular... 'All lawyers are assholes.' The fellow next to him lit...

Alligator Woes

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size...

Nervous

A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
The lawyer thundered, 'Have you ever been married?'
'Yes, sir,' said the witness in...

Sidewalks!

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, 'Is it true that a person can fall down on a...

Testifying

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness:
The lawyer, 'Did you actually see...

Safe Driving!

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, 'Is there a problem, Officer?'
'No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a...

Smartest Man!

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot...

Hostile witness!

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. 'Isn't it true,' he bellowed, 'that you accepted ten thousand rupees to compromise this case?'
The witness stared out the window, as though he...

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