Clean Jokes

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman...

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pickup truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn`t get hurt, so please...

I am going to My Mom`s Place for 6-7 days with kids & These are the instructions and warning for you...No need to call your friends and cousins. Last time I got 4 large pizza bills beneath the sofa...

When I reached office, I got a call from my wife. "What is the date today?" She said. I was wondering... then told her 14th September... call disconnected.
I was wondering... her birthday? No... Mine?? No...

While seasoning, if you put few drops of whisky, the oil doesn`t burn.
While kneading dough, put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown....

A man is sitting reading his newspaper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" he asks.
"That was for the piece of paper...

A workshop was done on women`s relationship. They were told to send a message written "I Love You" to their husbands. Top 10 replies from husbands are: 1. Are you alright? Feeling sick or something? Should I...

Wife: Am I looking fat?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: Shut up. Don`t you ever dare talk to me!!
Wife: Am I looking fat?
Husband: No...

A man and his wife went for shopping to get new sarees for wife. After seeing numerous sarees she shortlisted around 100 and further brought down to 25. Out of those 25 she finally asked her husband to choose...

Son: Dad, I want to get married.
Father: First, tell me you`re sorry.
Son: For what?
Father: Say sorry...