Clean Jokes

There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As they sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to...

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little...

At a dinner party the other night my wife tried to embarrass me by telling our guests about an argument that`s been ongoing in our house hold.
"Yes," she said smugly. "He`s well trained, I have constantly reminded him to put the seat down...

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always...

Scene: A husband and wife watching an a Cricket match. After 5 minutes:
Wife: Is this Imran Tahir ??
Husband: No, this is Hashim Amla, Imran Tahir is a bowler.
Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket...

Wife to husband: Darling in pictures of Shiva-Parvati, Shiva has a Trishool. In pictures of Vishnu-Lakshmi, Vishnu has Chakra in hand and pictures of Rama-Sita, Rama has bow in hand. But in case of....

We were dressed and ready to go out for a party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested...

Interview of a married man for the benefit of the unmarried ones.
Reporter: So how is your married life?
Mr. Husband: First of all, "married life" is an oxymoron...

When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated. A couple of months later, Myrtle also died. Once in heaven, Myrtle anxiously looked for Joe. Suddenly, behind a cloud...

An old man was lying on his deathbed. With only hours to live, he suddenly smelt chocolate chip cookies wafting up from the kitchen. Driven on by his favourite smell, he somehow managed to pull himself out of bed...