Clean Jokes

Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance, an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years...

A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table...

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: What was that...

Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn`t come back yet.
Officer: What is her height?
Husband: Average, I guess.
Officer: Weight?
Husband: Average, I guess...

A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tyre alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help. The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he`d wiped off sweat...

A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn`t know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there`s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult...

Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders left, Sam`s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I`m sure Sam would be pleased...

She married him because he was such a "strong man."
She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male."
He married her because she was so "fragile and...

Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"
"Oh, he`s wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her..

When a physician remarked on a new patient`s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother`s side or your father...