Clean Jokes

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment...

On the New Year eve I was sitting with my wife on the deck, enjoying a glass of wine. I said, "I love you so much I could not...

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: "There`s no easy way to tell you this, so I`ll...

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume...

Saturday morning I got up very early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, slipped quietly into the garage loaded the truck with rifle and stand...

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don`t work enough, you`re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring...

A guy was speeding down the road and got pulled over by a state trooper.
The trooper said, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
The driver looked at the trooper and said...

A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see...

But Fred died recently. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend, Jody, and says...

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state...