Clean Jokes

A guy was speeding down the road and got pulled over by a state trooper.
The trooper said, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
The driver looked at the trooper and said...

A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see...

But Fred died recently. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend, Jody, and says...

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state...

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered...

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day...

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite...

A husband takes the wife to a night club. There`s aguy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works...

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly...

A woman finds Aladdin`s magic lamp. She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes...