Clean Jokes

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald`s. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided...

After only a year in Canada, a Polish man got married to a nice Canadian girl. They got along quite well until the day he rushed into his lawyer`s office and begged him to arrange a quick divorce...

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company`s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn`t taste like alcohol at all. He didn`t even remember how he got home...

Newly married Alan goes to meet Father George. He greets the priest and says, "Father, I need to talk to you."
The Priest asks, "Is it a confession, my son...

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
"There`s no easy way to tell you this...

They had been married for sixty years. They were far from rich, but in very good health, due largely to her insistence that they both eat healthy foods and exercise every day. But their good health didn`t help...

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE...

Prior to taking retirement and selling off his land, a farmer needed to get rid of all the animals he owned, so he decided to call on every house in his village. At houses where the man was the boss, he gave a horse...

An Engineer and his wife were always fighting with each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The woman would shout, "When I die...

Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before. The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into any...