Mature Jokes

A couple purchased a talking parrot on their honeymoon, much to the groom`s annoyance, since the bird did a running commentary on their lovemaking. The groom finally threw a towel...

The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous red-haired beauty.
"I would suggest to you, young lady," began the doctor, as he regained some of his...

Carol, being the type shopper to "only buy-on-sale items," beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman`s.
She pointed to a white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said...

As the aircraft was taxiing towards the runway to take off, the voice on the speaker welcomed passengers on board and introduced them to the pilot.
"Your captain is Miss Mary Joystick....

A guy went into a public washroom and had to use the only available urinal, which was between two elderly men. He glanced to his left and saw the guy pissing, but...

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said...

A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.
"Paddy, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don`t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care...

Virginity is like a Balloon, one prick and it`s gone for ever!
Sex is like a pack of Chips, once you start, you can`t stop!
An Exam paper is like a Dick, when it`s hard...

Two old drunks were drinking up at a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn`t bend my dick with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it...

A Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I`ve been having all these years? Well, they`re gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks...