Teacher: Pappu, please tell me, what is India Gate?
Pappu: Sir, India Gate is fine quality basmati rice.....
Teacher: What is Charminar?
Pappu: Charminar is a very popular cigarette in India and due to its low cost, it is easily affordable.......
Teacher: What is Taj Mahal?
Pappu: Taj Mahal is packet of tea leaves....
Teacher: Rascal, how dare you give such bullshit answers... You are spoiling the name of national treasures....... If you want me to allow you in the classroom tomorrow, don't forget to come with your father's signature!!!!!
Pappu: OK sir.
Next day.....
Teacher (looking at the table): Pappu...!!!!! You idiot!!!! How dare you bring whisky bottle inside the classroom?????
Pappu: Sorry Sir, But you only told me to bring my father's signature today.... I simply obeyed your order...... Now again you are shouting..... this is not fair, Sir!!!!
Pappu goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings.
One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it.
The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it.
Pappu walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings."
"I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist.
Pappu thinks for a while and said, "Have you ever tried ENO?"
Pappu is 33 years old and still single. One day, a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Pappu replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution. Just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later, they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Pappu answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Pappu replied, "Now my father doesn't like her."
Pappu Bazaar Gaya. Waha Use Papa Ke Ek Purane Dost Mil Gaye.
Uncle: Pappu Beta, Kaise Ho ?
Pappu: Ji, Badhiya ..........
Uncle: Aur Papa ?
Pappu: Ji Vo Bhi Badhiya.....
Uncle: Bhai ?
Pappu: Vo Bhi Theek Hai.....
Uncle: Studies?
Pappu: Vo Bhi Theek Chal Rahi Hai.
Uncle: Aur Sunaao Pappu Beta, Kya Chal Raha Hai ?
Pappu: Bematalab Ke Sawaal Jawaab.....!
Teacher: A B C D Sunao..
Pappu: A B C D...
Teacher: Aur Sunao??
Pappu: Sab Theek Hai Mam ji, Aap Sunao... Kya Chal Raha Hai Aajkal...?
English Teacher: Wo Larki Sab Larkon Se Hans Kar Bat Krti Hai. Batao Is Sentence Mein Larki Kya Hai ? Pappu: Sir! Larki Chaalu Hai...!!!
Teacher: Pappu, Iski English MEin Translate Karo: Larkiyan Yahan Se Guzar Chuki Hain.
Pappu: Oh Shit! I Am Late...
Pappu rings a call centre and complaining about his Internet.
Pappu: My internet is not working properly.
Officer: Ok, Double click on "My computer"
Pappu: I can't see your computer.
Officer: No no, click on "My computer" on your computer.
Pappu: How can I click on your computer from my computer?
Officer: Listen, There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer. Ok double click on it.
Pappu: What the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?
Officer: Double click on your computer.
Pappu: On which Icon I've to click.
Officer: My Computer.
Pappu: Oh you fool......
Tell me where is your office. I'll come there and click on your "Computer."?
Pappu met up with his close friend Bunty and told him that he had just met the girl of his dreams. He asked Bunty for advise on how he should proceed!
The wise and experienced man of the world, Bunty said, "Well, send her roses, and on the name card invite her for a home-cooked meal."
Pappu liked the idea, so he followed Bunty's advice and invited the woman. Next day after the dinner Bunty called Pappu and asked him how did the home-cooked dinner go.
Pappu cried, "It was a complete flop."
Bunty asked, "Why? Didn't the girl come to your house?"
Pappu replied, "She came, but she refused to cook and left angrily!"
Pappu failed in the final Law Exam & decided to make a deal with the Professor.
Pappu: Sir, Can I ask you one question?
Professor: Yes.
Pappu: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you cant, you will have to give me an "A" grading.
Professor agreed.
Pappu asked: What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
The following day, Professor asked same question to his students. He was shocked when all of them raised their hands......
He asked one student. He answered:
Sir, you are 65, married to a 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal
Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Seven Sir.
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Seven.
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Seven!
Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Pappu: Because I've already got one at home.
Principal: School Ka time 8 baje Ka Hai Aur Tum 9 Baje Aa Rahe Ho?
Pappu: Sir Aap Na Mera Intezar Na Kiya Karo, Apne Time Se School Shuru Kar diya Karo.
Santa: Oyee ! Tumne Apni Sagai Kyun Tod Di ??
Pappu: Papa, Uska Koi Boyfriend Nahin Tha.
Santa: To Phir Problem Kya Hai ?
Pappu: Jo Aaj Tak Kisi Ki Nahin Ho Saki Wo Meri kya Hogi.
Pappu Apni Gali Ke Ek Dukandar Se: Uncle Rang Gora Karne Waali Cream Hai???
Dukandar: Haan Hai.
Pappu: Toh Lagate Kyun Nahi, Main Roz Aapki Shakal Dekhkar Darr Jata Hun?
Pappu: Daadi Neend nahi Aa Rahi. Hum Kuc Baate Karein?
Daadi: Theek Hai.
Pappu: Daadi Kya Hum Hamesha 5 Hi Rahenge? Aap, Mom, Dad,Main aur Behen.
Daadi: Nahi Beta aapki shaadi Ho Jayegi Toh 6 Ho Jayenge.
Pappu: Fir Behen Chali Jayegi Shaadi Karke Toh Phir 5 Ho Jayenge.
Daadi: Beta Phir Aapka Beta Ho Jayega Toh 6 Ho Jayenge.
Pappu: Phir Aap Mar Jaaogi Toh Hum Wapas 5 Ho Jayenge.
Daadi: Kaminne, Kutte, Haramkhor... Soja Chup Chaap.
One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class.
Professor: What kind of Wife would you like Pappu?
Pappu: I would want a wife like the moon.
Professor: Wow !!! What a choice... So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon?
Pappu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Round and white?
Pappu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Fair and Beautiful like the moon?
Pappu: No, no... I want her to be Exactly like The MOON. Just Arrive at Night and Disappear in the Morning.
Professor fainted...