Clean Jokes

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and...

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front...

God offered his tablet of commandments to the world. He first approached the Italians. "What commandments do you offer?" they asked.
He answered, "Thou shalt not...

After years of his wife's pleading, this rich good ole' boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand.
He said, "Reverend, that was the best.

At a Bar, a NUN preaches: Drinking is Bad.
Man: Have you tried it?
Nun: No, Never...

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that...

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart...

A Christian and an atheist were neighbors. The Christian one day yells, "Lord please sends me food".
The atheist heard this and replies...

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."
The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Johnny...

Jack and Mark are walking from religious service. John wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Mark replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest...