Clean Jokes

One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever...

Determined to "take it with him" when he died, a very rich man prayed until the Lord gave in.
There was one condition: He could bring only one suitcase of his wealth...

A pastor at a frontier church ended a stirring sermon with, "All those who want to go to heaven, put up your hands!"
Everybody enthusiastically raised their hands....

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks...

A few minutes before the services started, the church people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and...

One day,a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer...

Three men of the cloth, a Catholic, a Jew and an Episcopalian were on an airplane trip together. They ran into the worst turbulence in the history of aviation...

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. They crawl out of their cars and the rabbi sees...

In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church.
The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the brothel...

In an Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting.
The officiating clergyman says, "The Lord be with you."
The congregation used to respond by saying, "And with thy spirit."