Clean Jokes

Banta had been in the hospital for days. His nurse was extremely annoying and he couldn't take much more.
One day during breakfast, he took his apple juice container and poured it into a urine specimen cup the nurse hadinsisted he fill.
The nurse came in to check on him and looked at...

There were these two not so bright guys, Santa and Banta, who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car so they decided to buy a camel.
The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure...

Banta was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Maruti, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory.
His friend said, 'Sure.'
So Banta tied his bike to the back of the car and...

Banta, a mystery-lover take his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage.
Banta calls an usher over and whispers, 'I just love a good mystery,and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy...

An army Major visiting the sick army men, went to one soldier and asked, 'What's your problem, Soldier?'
'Chronic syphilis, Sir.'
'What treatment are you getting?'
'Five minutes with...

Santa visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.
Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and...

The worried Preeto sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
'How are you, darling?' she said. 'What kind of a day are you having?'
'Oh, mother,' said Preeto, breaking into bitter tears, 'I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the...

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta: 'It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank...

A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in preparation for selling his land, so he went to every house in his village.
To the houses where the husband was the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the wife was the boss, he gave a chicken.
When the farmer...

Santa and Banta met at the club for their weekly golf game.
And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
Banta: Well, Santa, what do you want to do now?
Santa: Badminton?
Banta: Nah.
Santa: Shoot some...