Caring medicos!
Santa took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators.
Santa`s father started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A Doctor came by and said...
Cab Driver
A taxi passenger tapped the driver, Santa, on the shoulder to ask him a question. Santa screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then Santa said...
Hearing aid !
Santa realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
'How much do they run?' he asked the clerk.
'That depends,' said the salesman. 'They run from Rs 20 to Rs 2,000.'
'Let`s see the...
Where`s the Money?
The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were `protecting`. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job - if he were to get caught, he wouldn`t be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week...
Dirty mind!!
Santa, the biology teacher, called on Neha, 'Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it`s normal size, and state the conditions.'
Neha gasped and said in a huff, 'Why, Sir ? That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to...
Kicks law ?
Santa was hunting in Bhatinda recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a pigeon he had shot. A farmer came and asked Santa what he was doing on his property.
'Retrieving this pigeon that I just shot', he replied.
'That pigeon is on my side of the fence, so now its...
Mercedes
A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked Santa at the airport one day.
When Santa got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for.
The driver replied 'Why? It`s for lining it up at people so you can...
Escaping Banta !
Banta came into the bar, with a big scowl on his face, and ordered a drink.
The bartender says, 'You look a mite angry. What`s wrong?'
Banta says, 'Well, I was in bed with this gal, and we heard her husband coming in, so I jumped out the window and held on to the window sill. He came over to the window and saw me, and...
Accident !
Santa and Banta driving on a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. They were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled.
Before Santa could say anything, Banta said...
Santa in court
A man was on trial for selling drugs, and his neighbour, Santa, was called as a witness.
The prosecutor asked: 'Did you ever get any cocaine from the defendant?'
'No, sir,' answered Santa.
'Did you ever get any...