Efficiency expert, Banta, concluded his lecture with a note of caution. 'You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home. '
'Why?' asked somebody from the audience.
Santa was in the dentist`s chair having a root canal done. Every so often the dentist would stick a large toothpick-like object into the tooth`s canal to see how far he had drilled. Each time, this thing caused Santa great pain, but whenever he complained the dentist replied, 'Oh, that doesn`t hurt, it`s just a measuring device.'
Banta was a photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. Banta arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, 'Let`s go!'
Santa and Banta landed themselves a job at a saw mill.Just before morning tea Banta yelled, 'Santa! I lost me finger!'
A group of soldiers arriving in Jammu found themselves taking a surprise refresher course on first aid. Following an involved lesson on making splints, dressing wounds and applying tourniquets to stop bleeding, the instructor decided to determine how well the class had grasped theinformation given.
An auto mechanic, received a repair order from Banta, that read: 'Checkfor clunking sound when going around corners.' Taking the car out fora test drive, mechanic made a right turn, and a moment later he heard aclunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.
A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in thebackwoods for the Loksabha elections Outside a ramshacklehouse, he saw Banta milking a cow. He approached him,ready to make his pitch for a vote.
The order was to account for the round consumed by a sentry on duty in a camp in the desert-by turning in the empty cases and showing what he had shot.
Santa and Banta were sitting down to their usual morningcup of coffee listening to the weather report on theradio. 'There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, anda snow emergency has been declared,' the weather reportsaid. 'You must park your cars on the odd numbered sideof the streets.'
At an evening party the guests were asked to take part in a game in which everybody was to make a face and the one who made the worst face was to win the prize. It seemed as if all did their worst. Then the judge went up to our Banta who was sitting alone in a corner.