Clean Jokes

In a poor zoo in India, a lion was offered not more than 1 kg of meat a day. The lion thought that its prayers were answered when one day a USA zoo manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management..

Guru Dutt is reborn and makes a film, called Software ke Phool. Sahir Ludhianvi saheb revises his old song for the new venture. It goes like this:
Yeh Document, Yeh Meetings, Yeh Features ki Duniya...

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking 2 my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her, "Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines...

A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife...

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a homely woman...

A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn`t know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there`s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him..

A group of people were touring a university campus and they noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.
"What are they dong?

A girl showed interest in only marrying a lawyer. I asked the girl, "Why do you prefer a lawyer to marry?"
She said, "They bow their head while entering the room and again while going out. They say...

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie`s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...

Anyone who has raised, or even just been around, a toddler knows these things are true. Toddlers and drunks are EERILY similar!
No personal boundaries.
Falls over A LOT. Gets up...