Clean Jokes

An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party.
While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace...

A climber fell off a cliff, and as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch wedged in the rock.
"HELP! IS THERE ANYBODY UP THERE?" he shouted...

On being told that someone has purchased a new car, women ask what color it is. Men ask what the make and model are.
Men have no opinions whatsoever...

Little Johnny goes to church on Sunday. There, he runs into the priest. The priest says: Good morning Johnny!
Johnny: Good morning, Father.
Priest: Tell me Johnny, how is your brother...

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer. Then it is time to pay...

A new supermarket opened in San Antonio, Texas. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain....

A little boy walks in to the kitchen one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper.
"Where does poo come from?" he asks.
The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5-year-old son...

Main Ye Sochkar TV Ke Aagey Baith Gaya Ki Aaj Ki NEWS Dekhi Jaaye. Bagal Mein Baithi Biwi Apne Daily Ke Serial Mein Kuch Is Kadar Dubi Hui Thi Ki Usko Ye Bhi Ahsaas Nahin Hua Ke Kab Main Aa Ke Uske Saath Baith Gaya...

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I`ll give 20 bucksto the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived." An Irish boy put his hand up...

While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness...