Clean Jokes

One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked.
His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how...

Ricky was at the mall and went into a toy shop, picked up a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper Monopoly money and started to leave. The shopkeeper told him, "Excuse me little boy, this isn`t real money...

A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for...

A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was...

Santa dials a number. A Girl answered.
Santa: Hello... Kaun?
Girl: Main Seeta...
Sardar: O Teri!!! Yeh Toh Ayodhya Lag Gaya...

1. Mother-in-law: In India - A woman capable of making your life miserable.
Outside India - A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a...

A couple bought themselves a squirrel pet. One night they went out for dinner and locked the squirrel in the closet. Later that night a thief broke into their house. The thief was in the process of stealing the couple`s...

Now that I`m `Older` (but refuse to grow up), here`s what I`ve discovered.
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head...

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room...

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is...