Clean Jokes

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn...

There are two polite people having dinner together. On the table there is a dish with one big piece of fish and one small piece of fish. They politely say to each other, "You may choose first...

What`s the need to arrest Vijay Mallya? He has anyway spent most of his life behind bars.

What do you call people who don`t believe in going to the gym?

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day...

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn`t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10. sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded...

A prestigious law firm interviewing prospective attorneys had narrowed the field down to Bob and Paul. Both had graduated at the top of their respective law school classes. Both were from good families...

A soldier was stationed abroad and received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read: "Dear Dave, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great...

A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some relief. After he came home she`d start right in on him...

An elderly Jewish man is bumped by a car while crossing the street. He is seemingly unhurt, but his wife persuades him to go to the doctor, just in case. He returns home, and his wife says...

A man gets off a plane in Boston and heads immediately for the Men`s Room. It`s crowded but he finds a vacant urinal to gain relief after the long flight and many drinks. The man at the urinal...