Clean Jokes

There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GED, and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed...

Morris went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn`t want to pay up. What should I do?"
"Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer.
"Nope," Morris replied...

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center...

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. They hired a most comely young woman for the job. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat...

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "You don`t want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife`s routine...

Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, a woman and her husband broke the monotony one night with a trip to the movies. She went inside to get seats while he bought popcorn and drinks in the lobby...

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence...

A lady is having a bad day at the table in Monte Carlo. Down to her last Pound 100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A gentleman next to her...

Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer`s accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of our Workers` Compensation board...

The judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement from one which he had previously made to the police...