Clean Jokes

As the UK and French governments began plans for the Chunnel (English Channel Tunnel), they realized they didn`t have the ability to build it themselves, so they put the project out for bid. Three teams...

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.
If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or...

A Dentist was conducting a survey: How long do you use your Toothbrush...?
Indian: There is no fixed time limit doctor, may be years...!!! Initially we use it for brushing our teeth, then we use it for....

American Interviewer: So what`s your email ID ?
Indian Candidate: Sir, iamanindian@gmail.com
American Interviewer: And password ?
Indian: 12345678

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream `racism` these days.
In London, a customer asked, "Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?"
The shopkeeper says "Are you a "Punjabi?"
The guy (clearly offended) says...

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty`s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address...

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can`t do that, officer...

A Syrian arrives in Toronto as a new immigrant to Canada. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Canadian, for letting me come into this country...

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren`t you successful with the Arabs ?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East...

"Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit."
"Does that mean I`m cured?" he asked.
"For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can safely say that your kleptomania...