Clean Jokes

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I`ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken...

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th- and 6th-grade ages in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers...

Monday: It`s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls....

Yesterday I was talking to my doctor and after knowing my occupation and job structure he advised: You must exercise more. Don`t buy cold drinks from stalls. Beer and whiskey better to avoid completely. Drink more...

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.
Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them, "It is illegal to put five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four...

Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I`d like to see...

Reporter: Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?
USA: Because we suspected that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Reporter: Why did you attack Syria...

A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast. On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, "Good morning sisters" and they reply in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed...

An elderly man was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he`d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. He opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that...

A Sindhi went to a dentist for tooth extraction but first enquired about the cost. Dentist said Rs 1200, the Sindhi thought that was too much. After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods. The dentist said...