Clean Jokes

A rat swallowed a diamond and the owner of the diamond contracted a man to kill the rat. When the rat hunter arrived to kill the rat there were more than a thousand rats bunched up all together and...

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents...

A man was taken to court for calling an Honourable Minister a pig. It was his first offence and the judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy. So he discharged him after warning him to desist from...

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing...

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee`s pay. She said...

Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda...

A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband`s temper. The doctor asks, "What`s the problem?"
The woman says, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every day my husband...

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing...

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She`s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, "What rotten luck I`ve had today! What in the world should I do now...

The teacher once asked the class to make a sentence with the phrase pistol too. Timmy raised his hand, and after being recognized said, "The lone Ranger tamed the wild west with his faithful Indian companion..