Husband: Honey, did I tell you that you cook well?
Wife: Awww, no babe.
Husband: So why do you keep cooking?
The difference between booze and weed?
Six drunk guys will start a fight.
Six stoned guys will start a band!
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
Husband: I am going to the office today after lockdown. Do you need anything?
Wife: No, that's enough!
At the Olympics, I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him: `Are you a pole vaulter?`
He replied: `No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?`
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.
So far no one has given me a straight answer!
I went back to an Army camp yesterday. Nothing much has changed since. The army is still the most confusing place:
The toilet for private soldiers is marked "For General Use."
However, the toilet for the Generals is marked "For Private Use."
I am very confused. It's a Major problem!
Most people probably apologize unnecessarily more often than they apologize when it is necessary!
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon Fresh.
I'll let you know!
Theory of Relativity:
Do not keep roasted peanuts in a transparent jar, they disappear fast. But if you keep roasted cashews in a transparent jar next to a peanut jar, peanuts last longer. However, if you add a third element... A Wine bottle nearby, all disappear in no time!
