Patient: I have spent 80 per cent of my life savings on doctors.
Doctor: Why didn't you come to me earlier?
A man to doctor, "Is there any medicine for long life?"
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help ?
Doctor: No, but it will avoid such thoughts.
My dentist makes the best false teeth. They're so lifelike, they even ache!
Patient: Doctor, what's good for excessive wind?
Doctor: A kite.
Doctors after operation and students after exam both tell the same answer;
.
.
.
We tried our best;
Can't say anything right now!
The doctor put a stethoscope to the patient's chest. The patient said, "Doctor how do I stand?"
The doctor replied, "That's what puzzles me"!
The doctor said to patient, "I want you take your clothes off and stick your tongue out of the window."
"What will that do?"
"Not much. But I hate my neighbour!"
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal!
Patient: I feel so sick I wish I could die.
Doctor: Don't worry. I'll take care of that!
Patient: How much longer do I have?
Doctor: Ten...
Patient: Ten What?
Doctor: Nine