
Santa: My girlfriend saved my lot of money and gifts.
Banta: How?
Santa: She married someone else!

Banta: How do you manage to stay cool all the time?
Santa: Because I don't get into arguments with stupid people, I just cut it short and say, 'You are right'!
Banta: That's completely irrational and wrong.
Santa: You are right!

Banta: How does Painkillers know which part of the body is in pain?
Santa: Look, they're like women, they know everything!

Santa: Have you heard of Murphy's Law?
Banta: Yes, it's the one that says that anything can go wrong will go wrong.
Santa: What's about Cole's Law?
Banta: No, what's that?
Santa: It's a thin-slice cabbage dipped in mayonnaise and sour cream!

Santa: I made a joke on a doctor's prescription.
Banta: Show me.
Santa: You can't read it!

Banta: What is the difference between the 'Fauji' way of doing things and 'Babudom'?
Santa: Fauji - Surgical
Babu - Sir Ji, Kal!

Santa: I think Kamal will have BJP as his symbol.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Why not? Doesn't BJP have Kamal as its symbol?

Chai Wala: Chai Mein Adrak Daal Dun?
Santa: Haan!
Chai Wala: Elaichi?
Santa: Haan!
Chai Wala: Laung?
Santa: Haan, Agar Inni Mehnat Ki Kar Reha Hain Te Phir Chicken Hi Bana Lai!

Pappu: Dad, how do I look?
Santa: With your eyes, son!

After his Holy Trip to Jerusalem, Santa was caught by customs for carrying liquor.
Customs: Sir, what is in the bag?
Santa: Holy water from Jerusalem.
Customs (after smelling & tasting): Don't lie sir. It's wine.
Santa: O Jesus, One more miracle!