Doctor: You can only have clear liquids after 7 PM.
Santa: Yeah sure, no problem.
Doctor: Not white wine.
Santa(shockingly): What?
Santa: With your current account balance, which Apple product can you buy?
Banta: Apple Juice!
Jeeto: I'm heading to the store. Do you want anything?
Santa: A sense of meaning and purpose in my life.
Jeeto: Sure. I will get the beer!
A traffic cop stopped Santa for talking on the mobile while driving.
Santa: You can't fine me for talking on the mobile while driving.
Cop: Why?
Santa: Because it's my wife... I was only listening!
Banta: What is the technical difference between Welding and Wedding?
Santa: Not much, both are joints, in a way... In Welding, there are sparks first and bonding forever, whereas in Wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever!
Santa: The iPhone 7 is water-resistant, has stereo sound and a better camera but it doesn't have that one feature that I want.
Banta: And what is that?
Santa: Affordability!
Santa went to Police Station to report his neighbour's missing wife.
Police: Why are you complaining about your neighbour's missing wife?
Santa: I can't tolerate that guy's happiness. He celebrates every day!
Banta: After winning an argument with his wife what should a husband do to maintain better relations?
Santa: Say, your suggestions were better than mine!
Banta: Please do not tell my wife that I took money from you.
Santa: It's okay, but you also do not tell my wife that I had money to give!
Santa: Married couples are really made for each other.
Banta: How?
Santa: Both partners feel the need of a quarrel at the same time!