Doctor: So you have cut down on drinking.
Santa: No, not at all.
Doctor: But I told you to watch your drinking.
Santa: Yes, I am very particular about it. Now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls!
Santa to his wife, Jeeto: Banta is a real dud.
Jeeto: How did you infer?
Santa: It took him 15 years of marriage to get the seven-year-itch!
Jeeto was learning driving from Santa.
Jeeto: I do not know what to do.
Santa: Just imagine that I am driving!
"Your hair wants cutting badly, Sir", said a barber insinuatingly to Banta.
Banta curtly to Barber, "No, it does not. It wants cutting nicely. You cut it badly last time around"!
Santa had a leakage in the roof right above the dining table.
Plumber: Sir when did you notice it?
Santa: Last night, when it took me 3 hours to finish my soup!
Conductor to Santa, "Do you mind if I put your bag out of the way, Sir? people coming in are falling over it."
Indifferent Santa: You leave it where it is. If nobody falls over it, I shall forget it's there!
Santa was confused after his marriage. He didn't know how to initiate the conversation on the wedding night.
After a lot of courage, he asks his wife, "I hope your folks are aware that you're going to stay overnight with me?"
Banta: Why do you send all the messages to me, twice?
Santa: So that you keep one and forward the other.
Banta: Stupid... then you shall send it to me thrice.
Santa: Why?
Banta: So that I can delete one!
Banta: Where are you going?
Santa: I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It's too little to go by itself!
Santa is taken to court on the charge of drunken driving. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."
Santa: Great. Let's get started!