A worried Santa to the local police, "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail". That's against the law, isn't it?"
"It certainly is", the Inspector replied. "Do you know who's been writing them?"
"Yeah', replied Santa. "My girlfriend's husband!"
Santa and Banta are looking through a mail order catalogue.
Santa: Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable, too.
Banta agrees, "I'm ordering one right now".
3 weeks later Santa says to Banta "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Banta "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!"
Santa to Bank Manager, "My cheque was returned by your bank with the mark, Insufficient Funds".
Manager: Quite right, Sir!
Santa: I wanna know whether it refers to mine or the Bank's Funds?
Banta: Did you you go to the doctor for your ailment?
Santa: Yes, I did.
Banta: Did he find out what you had?
Santa: Very nearly.
Banta: What do you mean, very nearly?
Santa: Well, I had 450 bucks and he charged me 400!
Santa: The doctor told me to drink alcohol only one day a week.
Banta: But you drink everyday...
Santa: Yeah. He did not say which day. So I drink every day so as not to miss that day!
Santa: At last, my younger son bought Tablet with his own money.
Banta: That's wonderful. It's iPad, Samsung or ...
Santa: No No No. It's 'Crocin' for my headache!
Pappu: Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?
Santa: I don't know. No body has ever lived that long yet!
Classic Insult:
Jeeto to her hubby, "Please give me Rs. 2,000/-, I want to go to a Beauty Parlour."
Santa looked at her from top to bottom and then gave her Rs. 10,000/-!
Santa: I was a dude before marrying.
Banta: And what are you now?
Santa: Now I'm subdued!
Banta: Why did you beat your wife so much?
Santa: The ayurved told me to "beat properly" before administering the medicine to her!