Jeeto: Would you care to explain why the bottle of whisky you bought yesterday is half empty?
Santa: It's because you're a pessimist!
Santa: You know? My uncle is now resting in peace.
Banta: I had no clue your uncle died.
Santa: No, the one who died was my aunt!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points!
Jeeto: Honey, the car is getting hot. What should I do?
Santa: Tell the car you have a headache!
Santa: I forgot to pay the water bill again. I feel so stupid.
Jeeto: Don't worry, I do it all the time.
Santa: What, forgetting to pay the bill?
Jeeto: No, feeling that you're stupid!
Santa: I can't do pull-ups or push-ups.
Jeeto: But you can do a lot of f**k-ups!
Snoring is God's way to ensure that women hate their husbands even when they're sleeping!
I've been very careful and didn't give my wife any reason to be upset with me during the last week.
Now she's upset with me because I am not giving her any reason to be upset with me.
Women are unbelievable!
Santa: Tera Kattar Dushman Tere Samne Kab Jhukta Hai?
Banta: Karva Chauth Par!
#KarvaChauth
Girls can apologize when they sneeze but not when they are wrong!
