Pappu: Dad? Can you put my shoes on?
Santa: No, they wouldn't fit!
Santa: Why are you so tense?
Banta: I am gaining a lot of weight.
Santa: If you are afraid of gaining weight, take 90 ml of whiskey before every meal.
Banta: Will it help in reducing weight?
Santa: No... this would reduce fear!
Girl: Why are you always following me?
Boy: Because my parents told me "follow your dreams"!
Santa: Why are you so sad?
Banta: I bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today.
Santa: So?
Banta: I sprayed it all over myself, I still can't fly!
Girls talk about makeup like it's a weapon, "what eye-shadow is that?"
Oh it's mac 34XZ10 pro supreme blend 10 points to Gryffindor!
Girls don't compliment guys because they're likely to take it non-platonically;
Whereas guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don't know how to handle it!
Girl's Father: Kitna Kama Lete Ho?
Boy: Ji Lakhs Mein Figure Hai.
Girl's Father: Tab Bhi, Kitna?
Boy: 0.2 Lakh!
Santa: Can I open a joint account?
Banker: Yes sure, but with who?
Santa: Anyone rich!
Doctor: It looks like you are pregnant.
Girl: I'm pregnant?
Doctor: No, but it looks like you are!
Time waits for no man...
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Time is definitely a woman!
