If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!
Sometimes I need what only you can provide - your absence!
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
The meek shall inherit the earth... if that's OK with you!
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms!
You look like shit. Is that the style now?
You have the face of a saint... a St. Bernard!
A sure-fire way to lose ten ugly pounds: Cut off your head!
Nice perfume, but do you really need to marinate in it?
You're as annoying as an APP that turns sideways when you lie down!