Life's a bitch. Oh no, wait - that's you!
I was doing just fine before you came; but I think I'll be fine now that you're gone.
Just because I'm nice to you, doesn't mean I'm fake. It means I'm mature enough to tolerate my hate towards you.
People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.
I don't have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.
I bet your ass is jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Your face is like a cloud. Once it goes away, my day gets a whole lot better.
If you stop telling lies about me, I'll stop telling the truth about you.
I saw a garbage truck driving yesterday. You never told me you were moving.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.