My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up!
Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed?
Boy: I go to the temple.
Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there?
Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me!
Son: Dad, what happens when you die?
Dad: You go to heaven.
Son: No, I mean when YOU die. Will I get your stuff?
You know that burning sensation in your throat when you drink whiskey?
That's your soul healing!
Never depend on someone else to make you happy.
That's what Beer is for!
Man: Is it a crime to throw Sodium Chloride in your enemy's eyes?
Police Officer: Yes that's assault.
Man: I know it's salt but is it a crime?
Waiter: How did you find your steak sir?
Customer: I just looked next to potatoes and there it was!
To me `Drink Responsibly` means don't spill it!
Whenever someone asks me why my room is a mess, I simply tell them that...
It's not a mess, it's an obstacle course designed to keep me fit!
Scientists have invented Milk Powder, Coffee Powder, Soup Powder, and Energy Drink Powder but forgot the most important one...
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Whiskey Powder!