Egg + Mayo = Egg Salad
Potato + Mayo = Potato Salad
Chicken + Mayo = Chicken Salad
Math proves mayo magically turns any food into salad!
I go to the gym religiously and by religiously I mean only on holidays and just to please my parents!
When I was a kid people told me I was too young to have anxiety now that I'm grown people tell me I need to stop acting like a child and get over anxiety!
My doctor told me I need to focus on a healthier diet and stay away from junk foods and then we laughed and laughed and I went to KFC!
Pizza is a real time pie chart of how much pizza is left!
I've just broken up with my gym.
We were just not working out!
Health and fitness tip:
Set your alarm clock to snooze every three minutes for half an hour before you normally get up...
That's an extra 10 sit ups a day...50 sit-ups a week and 2600 sit-ups a year!
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at 4 am is discovering that some people do it on purpose so they can exercise.
What's wrong with these people!
I don't know what my superpower is but I'm positive my greatest weakness is chips and dip!