All I want in life is to lose weight and gain money.
Instead, I am, gaining weight and losing money!
Diet Tip:
If you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel!
Pro Tip:
If you can't deep fry it... it isn't worth eating!
Whenever I get a wedding Invite from friends, I get excited not because they remember me but because there will be free food!
Can someone tell me how many calories do I burn when I run away from my problems?
I don't exercise. It seems like a waste to die healthy!
This morning I went jogging, then before I started I remembered Proverb 28:1.
Which clearly states, "The wicked shall run when no one is chasing them". So I went back home!
I accidently got fat except it's not actually an accident because I just can't stop eating!
It's not that I'm not a morning person. In fact, I love mornings. I'm just not a waking up person!
Pro Tip:
If you want to avoid failure in love then fall in love with food; it'll never break your heart!