In Gym:
Boy: Okay, so how do I get in shape?
Trainer: You need to eat less and exercise more.
Boy: Please stop joking, I am serious!
WANTED: Good looking girl to jog in front of me while I run. Shouldn't be too fast!
If your grandmother calls you "slightly under-weight" you are "grossly over-weight"!
"I ran a half-marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon"!
Health advice:
Ways to burn 100 calories:
1. Walking - 45 mins
2. Jogging/Running - 16 mins
3. Swimming - 17 mins
4. Climbing Stairs - 16 mins
5. Tennis - 14 mins
NOTE: People who can't do all the above mentioned exercises, arguing with your wife for 5 mins is equally effective! Try it!
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today!
I wish I lost weight as fast as I lose motivation!
The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality!
I need to start eating more healthily.
But first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it's not there to tempt me!
If it wasn't for my incredible willpower,
I would be exercising right now!