When on a diet:
Waiter: What would you like to have?
Me: The salad with chicken, cheese and can you put it between slices of bread?
Waiter: You want a sandwich?
Me: I'd prefer if we called it a salad, as I am on diet!
I would like to go on a diet, but I'm afraid my brain will get thinner and I will become narrow-minded. So I dropped the idea!
I am not fat, God gave me Airbags because I am precious!
Saying 'You need to eat more' to a skinny person is acceptable in society but saying 'You need to eat less' to an obese is not!
What's the difference between sun and bun?
Sun rises in the East and sets in the West.
Bun rises in the yeast and sets in the waist!
If you weigh 100 kilos (220 lbs) on Earth, you only weigh 38 kilos (83 lbs) on Mars.
You are not fat, you are just on the wrong planet!
The leading cause of obesity is...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Free Home Delivery"!
My daily workout routine generally involves running around the house looking for my wine glass!
I have a condition that prevents me from dieting.
It's called being hungry!
Real pain is when you offer someone your food just to sound polite and they say yes and take it!