For a change, today I gave silent treatment toy wife.
But she's not returning the favour and is giving me the speaking treatment instead.
Women are confusing!
I told my wife that I have the body of a Greek God. She then told me that Laughing Buddha isn't a God!
With Wife:
My brain: You shouldn't say anything.
My mouth: Honey, did you put on some weight?
My brain: I warned you!
80% of men don't know why their wife is angry. Do you think the rest 20% of men know?
Wrong, they don't even know their wife is angry!
Not all marriages start with "Will you marry me?"
Some start with "Humein Ladki Pasand Hai!"
#ArrangeMarriage
I like church weddings... at least they are honest!
Upfront, the bride knows that she is not marrying the best man!
As we were going out, my wife said she needs to do a quick makeup.
That gave me ample time to wash the car!
The judge asked the accused: Why did you kill your husband after 20 years of marriage?
The accused replied: I swear Your Honour, it was pure laziness. Everyday, I'd say 'tomorrow'!
Before marriage, I was told that I wouldn't be able to have kids.
This was told not by my doctor, but by my financial advisor after going through my bank statements!
Wife: When I see you, I forget all my problems.
Husband: Wow, really?
Wife: Yes, then you become my biggest problem!