My wife & I have some serious communication issues. But good that we never talk about it!
What all these years of marriage taught me is that when your wife says `We need to talk`, you never get the opportunity to talk!
Wife: I'm a confident driver.
Husband: Eh? You hit a pedestrian today.
Wife: Yes, but confidently!
Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed and clean the whole house while she sleeps!
Whenever my wife gets upset with me, I ensure to impress her later by displaying my hidden talents like mopping the floor, washing utensils, ironing clothes, etc!
My wife just asked "What are your plans for the weekend?" as if she hasn't already planned it already!
Do you know that look women get on their faces when they find you attractive?
Yeah, me neither!
All these years of marriage trained me to find only the angry women to be attractive!
My wife should be thankful to me for teaching her all the aspects of male stupidity!
I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's.
She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!
