Doctor: So how's your diet and exercise going?
Man: Pretty well I should say. Yesterday I had a juice cleanse and went for a brisk walk.
Wife: Yesterday you had an entire bottle of wine and then fell down the stairs!
A Coded Message:
SOMEtimes I make jokes at my wife's expense, but hONEstly she is a very patient, smart, funny and HELPful woman. And I am very lucky to have her in my life. She makes ME a better man!
There are 3 types of people in this world.
People who are unable to hear.
People who don't want to hear.
And then there are husbands who always hear but never listen!
I told my wife that she always blames me for everything.
It's because of your behavior, she said!
Marriage looks so easy and attractive until you get married!
I promised my wife that I won't smoke again. Just to make sure that I didn't smoke, she left the gas on before she went out shopping and didn't even tell me. Feel so lucky to have such a caring woman in my life!
When the wife is giving silent treatment:
1. 10% of the husbands are worried.
2. 15% of the husbands try to know why.
3. 75% of the husbands enjoy peace & quiet.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...
She gave me a hug!
Whenever my wife's bored and needs some entertainment, she simply asks me which one of her friends I think is the hottest. The panic attack I'm having will keep her entertained for sometime!
If your wife doesn't cook for you at home, cook for yourself. You are not in a restaurant, you are in a relationship!