Wife: I don't have enough words to explain how stupid you are.
My brain: She's kidding bro, just give her a minute!
I thought my wife was in a bad mood. But it's been 15 years now. So I think this is how she is!
I always thought Calculus was the most difficult thing to understand. But then I got married and my wife came into my life!
Sometimes my wife agrees with whatever I say just to see the confusion, fear & anxiety on my face. She finds it quite entertaining!
I asked my wife if we should have an open relationship.
She smiled and said `Of course, first I'll push you out of that OPEN window and then organize an OPEN casket funeral for you. Is that okay?`
Men, when your wife says she needs to have a word with you, it's never just a word. Be prepared!
Saw a shabbily dressed guy at the mall with a dirty beard and having a sad & hopeless look on his face. I felt bad, so I tried to give him some money.
He said, `I'm not a beggar, I'm just married and I'm waiting for my wife to return from shopping`!
Is it okay if your wife changes the locks of the bedroom and doesn't tell you?
Asking for a friend!
When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and imagine she is in jail.
It heals me spiritually!
Husband: Are you mad at me?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: Why?
Wife: I don't know.
Husband: So you're mad at me and you don't know why?
Wife: I'm mad at you for many things. I don't know which one of those is the reason now!