You're not a complete husband until your wife is upset with you, for a reason that you don't even understand!
All these wonderful years of marriage taught our kids two valuable life lessons:
1. Mom is always right
2. Dad is always wrong
What wife says: You have to learn to communicate!
What wife means: Just agree with me, you idiot!
The kind of stress that I get from my wife watching me wash the dishes while she waits to inspect them is inexplicable!
Having a wife is a stress reliever as you need not worry if you are right or wrong.
You are always wrong!
Whenever my wife asks me where WE should have our dinner, what she really wants me to do is to guess where SHE wants to have dinner!
Pro Tip:
Marriage works perfectly when both the husband and the wife decide that the wife should decide everything!
Marriage teaches you a lot of things.
For example, my wife has so far taught me in 47 different ways why I am always wrong!
When my wife asks me if she looks fat in her new dress, simply saying 'No' isn't enough.
I've to give her a couple of solid reasons why I think she's not looking fat. A 30 minute Power Point Presentation & an analysis in Excel are also expected!
What wife says: I don't want to talk about it now.
What wife means: I'm still building up the steam, you just wait!